- December 12, 2017December 12, 2017Read more
- December 5, 2017December 5, 2017Read more
At the end of every year, a disorderly pile of unfinished projects stalks me like a flock of perky Christmas carolers. They sing of a bright future, IF I were to only I were to FULLY COMMIT to the Spirit of Doing! And at the end of every year, I find myself IRRITATED, grouchily wondering when I will get my act together and get enough momentum to burst through the nebulous barriers that seem to drag my progress down. Sometimes these barriers are in the form of obligations I’ve made to other people or imagine that I should do to help out. Sometimes they are just the chores that make up the “incessant drip drip drip” of existence, to paraphrase Sherlock Holmes in Elementary. The projects seem to grow in number every year, each one of them with its own recognizeable smiling face, tormenting me.
I can’t really think why these projects never get done, other than it seems that deep in my heart I don’t really want to do them. This is despite knowing these projects would be wonderful for me, projects like “establish a thriving e-commerce business based on my original design work”, “write a compendium of productivity tips and tools based on the 15 years of work I’ve been writing about them”, “design software that is allows people to express complex interactions in viscerally compelling visual ways”, and so on. I’ve got a lot of idea and a lot of unique skills that give me an advantage in pursuing them. Still, I do not act, instead getting bogged-down by the “drip drip drip” of existence. I’m bored, but don’t want to act. I’m tired, but restless. It hasn’t all been terrible, as I’ve made progress in other areas and have increased my understanding across a variety of fields, but I still feel hapless despite all the freedom and choice I have.
Am I missing purpose or are otherwise lacking in character or will to become who I want to become? Maybe I need to just get a job. And by that, I mean giving myself one. This post is the first of (probably) several that explores my definition of my “job”. (more…)
- November 16, 2017November 16, 2017Read more
Happy November! I’m many days late with this Groundhog Day Resolutions report because of an extended visit by my dad and sister for November. He’s here until Thanksgiving, which is a wonderful treat, and I’ve been trying to be attentive. However, I have to admit that I’ve not been sure what to report on this month.
So, I reviewed the recap of the year so far and last October’s review to get a sense of where I was. I think I have made an important clarification about my relationship with people and how that helps me feel fulfilled regarding the important “sense of mission” that I crave. (more…)
- October 21, 2017October 21, 2017Read more
Hey Wrimos! I just released the updated 2017 Nanowrimo Calendar. It’s designed to make it easy to add-up your words on a daily basis and pace yourself. New for 2017 are more colors, which are available on my Patreon page!
- October 11, 2017October 11, 2017Read more
This month’s Groundhog Day Resolutions report took a long time to write, primarily because I had forgotten a lot of details since February. To make it easier to pick-up next month, I put in a ton of hours making a summary of major insights and decisions; this is now located on the expanded GHDR 2017 page and hopefully can be understood as a narrative arc. With luck, the review process will be easier next time.
So how did the month go? I think I’ve clawed my way back from the brink of nihilism and have rebuilt my foundation of optimism on (I hope) sterner stuff. The executive summary of my plans moving forward are (1) make the new website dammit by following a few key steps and (2) practice being unafraid to show more of myself to the world despite a fear of being seen as a weirdo. I’m so fed up with my lack of progress on my long-standing plans to make cool things, though, that I see rejecting people connections as a better way to get there. It’s not as dark as it sounds, though. What I think I’ve discovered is a way to have conviction without being co-dependent on other people. Or I’m crazy. Read on to form an opinion! (more…)