The Tome of Grace and Humility is a collection of reflections on what is grace and what it means to be a humble person. I think I need to write this so I have a model of behavior to follow.
feb 07 2021 sunday – on letting-go of past claims of expertise
Game development was important to me in early adulthood to now, and I thought myself to be well-informed and capable in these areas. However, I’ve come to realize that I am really out of date and out of touch with video games. They actually don’t interest me that much anymore. At best, I am a somewhat experienced visual designer that pays attention to interaction. The humbleness practice is to recognize that I am not in the game anymore and to accept other people are far more embedded in it, and I should listen instead of speak in this regard The graciousness practice is to help people who are doing this work feel encouraged by my remaining enthusiasm.
feb 11 2021 thursday – on using explanation as a way to demonstrate superiority
I have a tendency to over-explain things to people who have difficulty absorbing it. While I tell myself that I am trying to be complete, there is a part of me that might be showing off. I think that overwhelming people with detail is not very humble. Instead (related to reducing intensity of engagement with people who don’t want it) just giving them the first step and implying the hopeful outcome is enough. There’s a problem though with appearing smug to people who are less confident. I am not sure how to deal with that.
mar 02 2021 tuesday – on moving on from old interests by dropping them
Similar to letting-go of past claims of expertise, I am finding that a lot of the things that I thought would be cool fall into the category of being able to show social worth through cleverness and alleged wisdom. I’m finding that it’s much easier to not give-in to impulsive spending as easily; there are ALWAYS a few dozen things that I’d LIKE to do, but I also see the beauty of doing just one things well and moving on from there. I am not quite sure how to actually do this, but I’m beginning to feel some discipline develop.
mar 03 2021 wednesday – on not knowing better
I have been thinking about past beliefs that I “knew better” and put myself in a category of “being better”, which I made more palatable by thinking of it as “aspiring to better”. This had the effect of just masking a kind of snobbishness that I’m still not entirely sorry for (there is something to be said for pursuing excellence) but I think this is (1) probably still shows in some way and is demoralizing to people and (2) isn’t an actual sign of competence or achievement. It’s paper superiority and I despise myself for thinking that way. Humble graciousness is more about recognizing that there is superior experience out there, and to celebrate and share and help each other find it for ourselves. I think that’s better than just being a kind of implicit gatekeeper to “knowing better than you”.
apr 04 2021 sunday – on cursing
It bothers me when I swear with anger. Conversational swears are OK, because there’s nothing mean about it. But ANGRY swears are negative and release bad energy on the people around me.