Editor’s note: In honor of TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY, today’s post has been pirate-speaked!

One o’ me productivity-killin’ attitudes be th’ great loathin’ I be havin’ fer physically fetchin’ things. If I I dasn’t be havin’ th’ pair o’ scissors / socks / wrench / gadget I need ready, then I lose momentum an’ focus. One o’ th’ most difficult things fer me t’ do be t’ mail a physical package, as ‘t requires so much fetchin’ that I nereget around t’ doin’ ‘t. I finally mailed a package t’ Dad, fer example, an’ ‘t tookst me about…goodness, about six moons. Embarrassin’!

Wi’ me recent thoughts on maintainin’ a positive attitude, however, I`ve been timing how long things take. That turns th’ chore into an experiment, which transform a chore into a quantifiable datapoint. As I wrote recently on me Facebook Page a wee tides ago, I be surprised at how wee time ‘t tookst t’ do two annoyin’ tasks: filin’ bill statements an’ shreddin’ checks. I let these pile up sometimes fer moons, but when timed ‘t tookst less than two minutes per task.

This mornin’ I be sittin’ down at th’ dinin’ room table t’ fiddle wi’ somethin’, an’ noticed that th’ table needed t’ be wiped. That required: PAPER TOWEL an’ WINDEX. I also reckoned I needed PAIR O’ SCISSORS from downstairs an’ WALLET from upstairs. I felt th’ familiar inner groan an’ urge t’ go do somethin’ else, but instead I started countin’ seconds in me hade. I sailed’ upstairs an’ downstairs an’ then t’ th’ galley, an’ th’ average time be under 30 seconds. Jus’ about anythin’ in th’ house be accessible t’ me, gi’en that I know ‘ere ’tis, in about 30 seconds. Which makes me feel silly an’ dumb fer bein’ such a baby about fetchin’ things, but lookin’ fore I can be seein’ much more fetchin’ in me future :)