Hey everyone, I’m following-up on Part 1 of the April 4 Review, today while also combining the week review for the previous week. I’d sum-up everything as “There really isn’t anything to report that’s notable.” This is a surprise to me, because I have come to expect the discoveries of new and exciting screwups! I can interpret this feeling in a few ways:

• Possibility #1: I’m nailing it! Hooray!
• Possibility #2: I must have a fever, because this can’t possibly be right. What am I missing?
• Possibility #3: Maybe this is expected? Neither exciting nor disappointing, but just…progress?

I’m going to tentatively assume it’s the third option: maybe it’s been an OK month and that is also OK. I got a lot done, though per usual it took much longer than I thought it would. I also got to play a lot of The Division 2 with my cousins (above image, me on the right), and feel…balanced? Satisfied? Accepting?

I am not used to feeling comfortable! Argh! Let’s see if we can figure out why this is!

March Summary

I’ve finally made a 2019 Goals Summary so I don’t have to explain it every week. In summary, there are three GHDR goals that require discipline and effort on my part:

1. Develop current revenue – Software Mastery
2. Develop additional revenue – Functional Stationery Business
3. Develop future opportunities – Seeds, Toolkits, Primers

The above are goals that I can do, with some difficulty. The revenue and assets generated from these activities fund my everyday “emergent” proclivities:

• Me as an “investigative designer” – Exploring, learning, building, sharing all things that interest me. Finding the why and how of the universe, and learning to discern its secret structures.
• Me as a participant in meaningful community – Personally reaching out towards like-minded people who are self-empowered, positive-minded, conscientious, competent, open hearted, generous, curious, and kind.

So with that context established, let’s look at the specifics of the month by recapping the major insights; these are taken from the weekly reports.

• WEEK 1: There are two kinds of goals: maintenance and future. Major event: The “Ralph Baer Ping Pong” project completes. I found pants that fit without tailoring in a surprising place (Women’s size 10 Petite Short!)
• WEEK 2: There are two ways to approach goals: “disciplined” and “emergent”. Major events: Created new copy for ETP StickyPads, added “Toolfinder” landing page. Unified theory of community/excellence/work. Sorted into Hufflepuff. Rediscovered “freewrite to get unstuck” technique (thanks to coworking chat room).
• WEEK 3: Coding Crunch Mode Week 1. Major events: Named several mental modes like “the mental sarcophagus” to overcome resistance to doing tasks my lizard brain doesn’t want to do. Major events: Video game The Division 2 comes out, and I play online with cousins. Updated my GHDR page. Am stalled with weight loss.
• WEEK 4: Coding Crunch Mode Week 2, got difficult work done. Major events: Refined “development as a narrative” (thanks to coworking chat room). Recognized that I am actually doing a LOT of work, and shouldn’t feel that because my circumstances to work the way I do is cause for shame when compared to other people.

March Goals Met

SPECIFIC GOALS

• BILL more hours than this month? YES (76 versus 40 last month)
• Got the MEME drawing report out? YES
• Got the PACKAGING for the new ETP sticky pads out? YES
• Got regular monthly reporting started and posted? NO
• Got GHDR SUBSITE UP with NEW TECH? NO, USED OLD TECH
• LOST WEIGHT to 182lbs? NO. STUCK AT 189lbs

DON’T WORRY / DON’T DO LIST

• Didn’t clean the house or basement? DIDN’T WORRY ABOUT IT. Looking into house cleaners!
• Did I interactions to one-two days a week? MOSTLY. MON-TUE are meeting/errand days. Wednesday to Friday are one long block.
• Did I ignore the SEED, ELBS, KIT project? IGNORED. I focused on billing hours now.

DID I HAVE SOME FUN?

• I let myself play 45 hours of “The Division 2” with cousins
• I took the time to meet friends and watch “Star Trek: Discovery”
• I had some nice dinners and conversations with friends, and was available to be a good listener
• I shopped!

Evaluation of Working Goals – Specifics

I think I’ve gotten enough into the details of the goals and will drop the following metrics from the monthly report:

• DID I CONTRIBUTE TO THE COMMON GOOD?
• DID I IMPROVE MY FINANCIAL POSITION?
• DID THE UNIVERSE RESPOND TO SOMETHING I DID?
• DID I SHARE TANGIBLE STUFF ON MY WEBSITE?
• DID I CREATE/MAINTAIN SOCIAL BONDS?

Why am I dropping them? I realized that I always am paying attention to this. I don’t need a reminder or affirmation any longer. I think reviewing the weekly progress provides enough of a sense of how things are going.

Goals for April 4 through May 4

I’ll be travelling for a month, and so my priorities are as follows:

• Pack and prep for trip to California and Taiwan
• Find things to do with my dad that are memorable and meaningful
• Try to get better at speaking Taiwanese
• Renew bonds with family and friends
• Get some quality writing done and posted on the blog
• Read some books
• Write some good documentation for software mastery
• Write a cultural organizational development primer/kit

It’s unlikely I’ll bill more hours this month than last month, but if I can get 20-30 hours in that will help cushion the blow of not working for a month (and probably being unproductive for the week before and after the trip).

Conclusion

It was a surprisingly OK month. I got two major milestones done. On the personal side, I realized I am doing a lot, and because of that I am being less demanding of myself. I can’t shake this feeling that something is wrong, though. Perhaps it’s because with the accepting that I’m doing a lot, I have also realized just how much work there is to do to make anything worthwhile, and thus I can see my mortal limits of productivity. This is vaguely depressing.

NOTE TO SELF: See how I feel about “the mortal limits of my productivity” in May.

Thanks for reading! Have a great month!

Here’s this year’s calendar: