GHDR Weekly Review 5.1 – Working through Malaise

Hey, I am super behind with my weekly reviews. The unexpected passing of my cousin Brian and traveling out to CA to be with family for his memorial service has impacted my routine, as one would guess. However, the experience of bearing witness to Brian’s incredibly generous and kind heart was incredibly moving and life-affirming. I had known Brian on some level as the cousin with which I shared a love of cooking, experimenting, and video games. I did not know just how much he embodied love for his friends and family, as evidenced by the 400+ people who crammed into the church on Sunday. Brian, you have taught me important lessons about life and love. Thank you for being my friend, and rest in peace…

RECAP of LAST WEEKS

These are two weeks worth of #accountability logs. The overall pattern has been not hitting my targets for work (UNISYS server) and the weekly reviews (looking at the accrual log) or the stuck projects (KM-SSG, various writings). I could attribute part of this failure to get things finished to the family stuff that’s been going on, and that certainly was part of it. I’ve been finding it hard to focus again because I’ve lost some connection to whatever magical energy I had back in June.

Tasks for Week of Monday July 9
...
[2] - 3X port UNISYS server (goal: call returns) - 1 SHORT
[2] - 3X weekly look at Accrual Bucket  - 1 SHORT
[ ] - 3X weekly push on KM-SSG (15M) - FAIL
[x] - WED memorial story, pictures, record (orig TUE)
[x] - THU pack and prep for trip
[x] - FRI trip
...
[x] - MON 1230 NetCreate checkin with Ben
[x] - TUE 0830 doctor appointment
[x] - TUE 1200 weekly checkin with Jakob
[x] - TUE 1430 hep A booster
[+] - sched salon consult
{x} - Compact junk in bedroom TUE
[x] - THU see B29 at Boire Field
[/] - Derivative Task: Find Bluetooth Headset (couldn't find)
...
[x] - pick up prescription, check price

Tasks for Week of Monday July 16
...
[.] - work to fill sudden hole?
[1] - 3X port UNISYS server (goal: finish)
[1] - 3X weekly look at Accrual Bucket
[ ] - 3X weekly push on KM-SSG (15M)
[ ] - GHDR Weekly Review 5.1
[ ] - continue Taiwan Trip Day Post
[ ] - write chapter of JR PulpRev collab
...
[x] - MON travel home
[x] - TUE 1200 weekly with Jakob
[x] - TUE 1445 hair cut
[x] - TUE 1545 visit Alen
[ ] - WED 1830 group
...
[x] - pick up packages
[x] - schedule hangout w/ M?

{ } soft goal, [x] done, [>] bumped, [-] removed, [/] failed, [.] in-progress, [+] added+done, [4] repeated 4x

Looking over the list, I’m not sure whether I can diagnose the cause of my malaise, so I will just note that this happened and see how the coming week goes. These reviews don’t have to be brilliant analyses that provide gems of insight. I will note a few feelings though:

  • I have been questioning my identity and relationship to society
  • I have been questioning whether I am a good family member
  • I have been questioning my courage to be myself and to pursue my desires

Pretty heady stuff.

THE WEEK AHEAD

I have one main deliverable: finish the network messaging system. I am writing a tricky part of it, and I suspect I will have to pull an all nighter just to get to the point where I have mental clarity to pull it all together. I rather enjoy these epic programming nights, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

On a related note, I have one major challenge: keep the tiny distractions of the week from disrupting the work. I have had a LOT of social interaction (for me) over the past few weeks, and it is starting to wear on me. Ensuring that I have more quiet days this week where I am entirely by myself would be good.



About this Article Series

For my 2018 Groundhog Day Resolutions, I'm challenging myself to develop "gathering-style productivity" as I pursue the year's goals. You'll find the related posts on the 2018 Groundhog Day Resolutions page.