A Random Story, of Sorts, about Sentient Clams

A Random Story, of Sorts, about Sentient Clams

SUMMARY: In the interest of doing something different today, I tweeted a request for a silly idea to write about. This post is a collection of musings about levitating clams, in response to DIYSara’s quick response.Today, not quite sure what to write about on the blog, I asked the Twitterverse if they had any ideas of a hopefully-silly nature. DIYSara was the first to rise to the challenge:

Write about the quest of all fresh water clams to mutate into high beings that can levitate.

Awesome. I don’t even know what that means, so I’m just going to free-associate for a few minutes. First of all, let me consider the implications behind the statement:

  • All fresh water clams apparently are possessed of consciousness, a fact of DIYSara’s world that had escaped me previously.

  • Said clams are on a quest, which makes me think that clams are much more moral that I would have given them credit for. Quests are associated with crusades, and crusades are waged for higher principles. Is there some threat to fresh water clams? Is their habitat threatened by long-necked mussels and other invading mollusks?

  • The object of the quest seems rather advanced: levitation. I could take this literally or figuratively, but the end result should be some form of “elevation” from their previous status. Perhaps levitation is merely an extension of the clam’s dream to move without legs, fins, and arms. I think clams propel themselves by flapping their shells to jet water, which is a kind of random way to go. Levitation would be a far grander, more controlled means of locomotion. I can just picture an entire group of clams, dissatisfied with their current locale, levitating grandly from their watery beds and moving like a school of fish. Would they levitate just within the water, or levitate above its surface?


p>Numerous other questions come to mind. Is there a Clam Leader? Where did the quest come from in the first place? Is there a hidden agenda? Why levitate, and not evolve useful hands with opposable thumbs? And let’s presume that the quest itself is deemed achievable in the collective consciousness of all fresh water clams. Could it be that clams believe they are descended from UFOs observed in the isolation of fresh water streams and lakes? Are all clams part of a fragmentary consciousness that is tenuously held together in a network of linked minds? The theory that speaks to me is one that there is a Prime Clam, and there is a fragmentary history of the Prime Clam that is thinly-held in the consciousness of fresh water clams bubbling to themselves around the world’s river and lake beds. The Prime Clam, it is believed by all freshwater clams, descended from the sky and seeded the prehistoric oceans with life, though “belief” is perhaps too strong a word. It’s a kind of belief that is subconscious, a kind of dreaming awareness that lurks beneath the day-to-day drudgery of being a clam, much the way a house cat dreams of being a mighty hunter as it sleeps, paws twitching as he relives his grandest ancestral moments. When the clams are sleeping, they dream of rising from the Earth once more and taking to space to seed another planet with life from the bottom up.

Comments? Let’s jam!