I had told my eye doctor that I was seeing floating blobs of light, kind of like a lava lamp. Today, I had my pupils dillated for a retinal exam by a specialist. I was a bit nervous at what they’d find. My eyes are my livelihood!

Dr. Riddell was a slightly-built older gentleman with a caring demeanor. The initial exchange of pleasantries was a bit unusual in that he asked, “And how are you doing?” He actually paused to hear my answer, head tilted in a kindly manner. That was a positive beginning. He then proceeded to run me through the examination, with his assistant sitting to the side taking notes. It was pretty cool how he precisely described what he saw, shifting without pause between description and direction while shining various lights into my eyes: there’s a cv in the lower quarillant sector nothing unusual with the aqueous di-elephantine crescent and lactating clusters appear nominal look up to the left please the micturating dipolynomial fixative swivels within expected normative range now look down to the right and to the left I don’t see any cows here either okay we’re done

It was an interesting feeling to be the subject under test, having a feature of my eye’s structure observed in such scrupulous scientifc detail. So this is what it’s like to be a microorganism, I thought.

And my eyes are “normal for an extremely nearsighted person.” The assistant told me on the way out that she saw the blobs too, and had since she was a teenager…and a great weight was lifted from me…I wasn’t a crazy person after all! Though I hadn’t gone in feeling that I was being scruitinized for my mental stability, this was an unexpected bonus. I will have to celebrate with some Indian food, after my eyes undillate.