I’m just back from Starbucks after catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. Sitting my butt down. Feeling sleepy. I’m attempting to shift back to a morning schedule today, because I am testing the hypothesis that I am actually a MORNING PERSON who just happens to have difficulty putting myself to sleep, so I wake up too late to enjoy it. I know, it’s kind of silly, but silly is what keeps me going.

And excitement, too. Which brings me to my conundrum of being sleepy. I suspect it’s the kind of sleepy that merely means “bored” and “unexcited about work”. Today’s work is to rummage through the innards of WordPress and make the image insertion process more intuitive for non-technical users. WordPress image management, despite the incremental improvements made over the past several years, is still a bit cumbersome.

As I’m feeling like taking a nap rather than working, I want to be mindful of this moment and see how I can get through it WITHOUT making up some kind of test or game around it. Testing and gaming creates excitement, but it works by displacing my engagement with work to something else. I like testing theories and coming up with alternative ways of approaching things, but in this case I want to just sit and face the boredom head-on and see what gives.

It’s 11:45AM now. Closing my eyes.

I feel tension in my shoulders and neck. The tiredness feels like the mind is mentally unable to process or initiate action. The feeling of a mental burden is present too. I know I have to do this thing to get out from under it, but I am wishing I didn’t have to do it. This sleepiness is that desire to just shutdown and not think about it. There may be a little bit of mental exhaustion too from this morning’s conversation with my friend. When I spend time outside engaging with people, I feel connected but have to pay for the time with 2-4 times the amount of time recuperating by myself. In this case, it would be 3 hours x 2 at minimum or six hours. At most, twelve hours. Perhaps I can get away with a 15-minute chair nap.

It’s now 12:15PM. I ended up napping for 30 minutes, resetting the timer once. 15 minutes is a little too short, as it took maybe 5-6 minutes to calm down and get comfortable (I laid out on the carpet and covered the window up). I found myself drifting into a dream immediately, which I can’t remember, but upon waking I feel like there is less pressure in my head. Intriguing.

First thing up is to work on that chunk of WordPress work.

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