Magnus: That’s an interesting analogy, push versus pull. At first I was going to say it wasn’t very helpful, as it presumes that you know what genuinely is a life push or life pull. I think there’s an underlying mission. Here I am trying to get more specific with the sources of push and pull. What is fear? What is joy? What is reflex? What is a life pattern? However, I think it’s still a useful analysis, so I’ll add it to my mix of tests. I think the simple language, though, creates an “enlightenment threshold” because it reads the answer should be obvious when it is not (at least, not to the person seeking enlightenment).

Jeff:

The danger of saying that you are afraid is that people get the wrong idea. I hesitated to post the “fear” thing for just this reason, but I figured I should start the dialog. I’m not making a declaration of fearfulness and reaching for support. I’m just stating some facts. In the followup post I’ll make that clearer. I appreciate your outreach, though, buddy!

Fear (which I’m thinking of as any “negative emotional stimulus”) is very personal and subtly intertwined into the base emotional operating system. Some of the underlying fears are so old and under control that we don’t think of them anymore, but they manifest as barriers or compartments in our personality.

In my case, the whole running one’s own business thing ISN’T a fear factor for me. At least, it isn’t anymore. My business is a ad-hoc shambles of impulses and luck, but I have always thought that I could get a job somewhere and survive if it came down to it. There are, however, very specific fears that I perceive as being barriers.

I think the same thing can be said about horses. Some are great runners but are skittish with things to their sides as they run. So, put blinders on them and deal with that. The entire animal is capable of greatness, but there are a few things that maybe hold it back.

Gabe: That’s an intriguing reference…thanks for mentioning it!

Jenna: It sounds like we’re in similar places. I think one of my major challenges at this point in time is to maintain dynamic balance between social and alone time, and between opportunity and responsibility. The straightforward engineering solution would be to schedule and practice time and distraction management. However, when those opportunities come up, then time management goes out the window.

I think one of my essential “fears” is that I’ll miss out on something. I missed out on a lot growing up, and I don’t want to miss any more. Actually, I’ve stopped reading blogs regularly myself because there is just so much good stuff out there that I know I can easily find it. I suppose I can apply the same reasoning to social time. It’s there when I want it, now, after having spent the past two years connecting with local communities. Since you’re in college, it’s a LOT easier to be social and find social things to do. On the other hand, it’s also so new and exciting that it’s hard to ignore it :)