Adulthood 101
Yesterday I had the epiphany that I'm still much like a child: given to indulging my impulses at the expense of long-term well-being, still in-the-dark about a lot of basic household processes, and not shaping my own development as a human being responsibly.
The trick might be self-parenting my inner child.
Adopting Myself
Now that I'm the proud parent of my inner child, I've got to think about what I want for him. Naturally, I want him to develop into an upstanding, happy, and confident human being. This is what I know about him so far:
- He's about 14, likes spaceships and cats.
- He doesn't really like sports because he's not good at them.
- He has some anxiety about being "good" at things.
- He's good at observing how things connect together.
- He's shy, but likes writing and using his imagination.
As an adult, there are certain things that I need to provide for us:
- Financial security to avoid unpleasant shocks and discomfort.
- Quality time, growing and learning together.
- A model for what adulthood is, so he learns this through osmosis as he grows older. Adulthood isn't all responsibility without reward.
- A program of general fitness, health, and mental stimulation.
- An environment in which self-discovery can safely occur.
- Physical security.
- Stability.
- Emotional support.
- Community connectivity.
To be able to do all that, I need to:
- Focus on my business prospects
- Manage my time, so I can spend quality time with my inner child
- Use myself as an example for how to be a happy adult
- Demonstrate the fundamentals of living and playing responsibly
- Demonstrate cause and effect of our choices
- Be dilligent in tracking the critical signs of a healthy household: cash flow, health & fitness, having good things to eat, stability of household services, and insurance against future crisis.
- Be pro-active in anticipating cause and effect
When I woke up this morning at a relatively early 730AM, I put myself into self-parenting mode and immediately got my ass out of bed, showered, and put on some actual work clothes. I even combed my hair; my stylist would be thrilled, as she says that one should ALWAYS look good. In my case, that just means looking slightly less rumpled, but that's still an improvement.
I cooked breakfast, because I knew that it's an essential part of the day. I took out some meat for cooking lunch, thought about what vegetables would be good to have for dinner. I also knew that providing regular breakfast creates a routine, and routines are good for establishing a sense of security and home, forming a comfortable base from which one can explore. So I (we?) ate breakfast, wished each other a good day, and then I got myself downstairs to the office to work. Blogging is work too, you know! :-) Later this evening, we'll probably draw some spaceships and do some chores, maybe shoot some hoops. I'll make a list that describes the whole idea of "balancing the checkbook" so we both know what's expected.
Does it Work?
This was a surprisingly fulfilling morning. I have a lot of things I need to take care of now, because I'm nowhere near having any of those items on the list in a secure place. But it's a fascinating exercise...particularly of my imagination :-) We'll see how long this lasts...I'll be running it for at least this week.
