The Pursuit of Happiness

Here in the US of A, we celebrate Independence Day on July 4th. This is a holiday I usually associate with recreational activities: picnics, barbecues, outdoor recreation, fireworks, parades and lots of 50%-off sales. It's a pretty mellow day.

The morning after, I was watching the news program CBS Sunday Morning, which ran a segment they called The Pursuit of Happiness. I realized then that there have been several threads of personal inquiry converging with respect to that pursuit: Happiness, Independence, and Community. Perhaps I've found my direction.

Happiness and Independence

Am I happy? I think I am, though there are certain frustrations I have. One of the big ones is the constant desire to be more productive, because I believe that producing more original content is my way to independence.

I used to think that the key to unlocking my productivity monster would be finding the right company. The right company would provide me with the right sense of mission, and so I've been open to finding the right opportunity. In fact, I was in the early stages of forming an business partnership with someone I know, until that person pointed out on one occasion that I didn't sound entirely committed. Oh, how I argued, until I realized that he was right: deep down, I hated the idea of giving up my identity. It was a highly clarifying but disappointing moment. We didn't pursue the relationship.

Since that moment of clarity, I've been more committed to independence as an actual path; I would say that my sense of mission is buoyed by the following statement of belief:

• Happiness will come from creating yummy original content...
• Which will create opportunities for me to be self-sufficient...
• And therefore free me to continue to do the things that I enjoy...
• Which apparently is being the author of said original content...

The lead-off story on CBS Sunday Morning connected the themes of Independence Day with Positive Psychology, a growing movement to scientifically understand the basis of well-being. Most Americans are familiar with the phrase Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness; it's written right into our Declaration of Independence, and was signed by the original 13 colonies on July 4th, 1776. While "the pursuit of happiness" is one of our most basic rights, it's entitlement without guarantee. Bummer!

I haven't read the Declaration of Independence since grade school---and even then I probably wasn't paying attention---so I was surprised by its relative brevity; rather than reproduce it in its entirety, I'll paraphrase it:

1. Ok, guys...there comes a time when a group of people must, due to difference of opinion and respect, dissolve their "political union" because it just isn't working anymore.

2. Here's our opinion of what we think life is all about: we think all men are created equal, have certain unalienable rights such as Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. Governments should exist solely to secure these rights, deriving their power to do so from the People, in a just manner.

3. When--AHEM--some governments fail to do that, the People have the right to tear it down and build another one. Sure, this isn't something one does lightly, but when the government refuses to deal with the issues responsibly, action by the People is necessary.

4. Let's name names: the present King of England has been a real jerk, and his form of "governance" is one-sided and disrespectful. Here's a long list of things he's done to aggravate us...see what we're talking about? And yes, we've bent over backwards to work things out in a civilized manner, but he remains a capricious, greedy, and dangerous prick. We don't think he's going to change. And you know what? We've had it.

5. So today, we're announcing the world that we consider ourselves free and independent states. We will be friends again once this is resolved, but in the meantime: COME AND GET US!

Thomas Jefferson expressed the sentiment more eloquently, of course; you can find the text reproduced over on JWynia's site in his 4th of July post.

As I reviewed the text, it occured to me that the genuine pursuit of happiness takes guts and resolve. This quote from Frederick Douglass also came to mind:

"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

I described the Pursuit of Happiness as being one of our basic entitlements, but without guarantee that we will receive it. It is, however, our responsibility to go out and get it, and the Declaration of Independence makes it clear that this is a right worth fighting for. When we make excuses about "timing", or "convenience", we are resigning ourselves to suffer an imposition of injustice, by the tyranny of our own inaction.

Independence and Community

As I said, I've been talking to people about various partnership / company scenarios. I spent many hours talking to people about what this meant to them, and the main arguments for starting a company looked something like this:

• As individuals, we can achieve only so much. As a company, we will have skills that complement each other, which will as a group allow us to offer a more complete suite of services. We will also have the credibility of being a group, which combined with our talent can attract more interesting (and lucrative) projects.
• It would be cool to work together with really talented people. People we can count on. People we actually like working with.
• It would be cool to build a company that emphasized creative facilities: a great space to work in, a place to teach, etc.

These are all fine reasons to start a company, and because I've been interested in community recently it seemed to be a great "two-for-one" deal. Except...it didn't feel right. As I talked with potential partners, I found I needed an awful lot of convincing. And if there's anything that sucks the wind out of a partnership-in-the-making, it's a lack of conviction from the person you're trying to partner with. Everyone I talked to was super enthusiastic about their company-building dreams, but I tended to ask questions like:

• What would be the company mission?
• How will we know we're fulfilling that mission?
• Who is the majority owner? In the case of an equal partnership, how would we resolve inevitable conflict of interest?
• How do you see me fitting into the operation? How do you see us working together? What do you see your role as?

And the doozy:

• What is the advantage of being in a company versus doing what I am already doing now?

The latter really was the sticking point for me because I feel like I'm finally on a path that I'm enjoying: the path of authorship. I like being personally responsible for what I say and do. The questions I asked were good ones, but they really were indicators of doubt wrapped in the cloak of due diligence. And doubt of that nature is NOT something you can tolerate from a business partner, because that indicates a lack of commitment to the whole, which bleeds energy, which is STARTUP DEATH. But I digress...just by asking that last question, I elevated myself to the level of the proposed company, and this tends to have a dampening effect on people who are excited by the very notion of creating something larger than themselves. It's probably not a bad question to ask, because when you're starting up you need to be pretty damn sure of the reason and rationale behind the decision if you're going to really sell it, but it's a real party pooper.

I like the idea of building companies, but I tend to frame the activity in terms of what's important to me, and not so much "what can we make". Here's a list of six directives that I think apply to me:

1. I want to work on my own stuff to create original properties. This is far and away more important to me than creating a company structure for the sake of having one.

2. I want to establish a reputation as a designer / developer / writer whatever. And I want to earn it with my own hands, and be personally accountable for what I put out there. That's how I think of authorship.

3. I want to create and contribute to a community of independent producers. I could join up with a community, but I have specific ideas about what I'd like to see from that.

4. I like creating sparks. For me, that means creating an empowering environment and positive energy, such that the "spark" occurs naturally. In other words, learning and teaching is important to me from the perspective of shared experience, not just for knowledge transfer.

5. If I did create a company or organization, it would exist primarily to provide the scaffolding for personal achievement and development of the individuals, in support of 4.

6. If I did create a company, it would have to be my company in that I would be the one to make the decisions. I am finally starting to accept this, and I'm also getting over the feeling that I have to apologize wanting things to be this way.

In a sense, this is my own Declaration of Independence.

Directive 6 is a completely new insight for me, and it's really the first time I've seriously thought that I may want to create a company. I have been pursuing the first 5 directives for years and never really considered the option, thinking that I was not up to the task, or that it was just too much of a hassle. These days, though, I'm more comfortable with the idea, and I must admit that with a group I could get more done. It feels a tad egotistical to think this way, because we're conditioned to think in terms of "team" and "democracy", but look at it this way: would you want a group of people voting on how you personally choose and pursue your interests? Do you want your own interests and dreams to be interpreted by some "team" with its own agenda and politics? No sir, I don't like it. The Pursuit of Happiness is, in my opinion, not about group consensus; it's about recognizing that we're all free to make our own decisions. The trick is figuring out that this is indeed within our reach, and then learning how to grasp.

So where does community fit into this? Isn't the mindset I described above counter to the spirit of community?

I think I've just figured it out: my values as I've listed them here are completely oriented toward empowering individuals, not organizations. I like to cheer people on! Persevere! Face demons! I support and applaud your efforts 100%! I think myself as a traveller on the same road.

While I don't know where this belief comes from, following through with it is incredibly important to me. It's funny I couldn't see this until I got called on my lack of commitment to the company idea. And now, I can see that this has been something of a recurring pattern when I have worked at other companies. With few exceptions, a company's underlying value was your heart and the company are one. My energies, however, are directed toward empowering the individual so they can shake free of whatever preconceptions limit their potential; company structure and management often are the limit.

I recognize, of course, that insight doesn't pay the bills. At least when one commits to a company, the company reciprocates with salary and benefits. This allows the individual to survive. This is not an automatic if one pursuits the path of freedom; think "Live Free or Die!" The Declaration of Independence, remember, was a declaration of war. If it had been a single colony declaring their independence, that would have been tantamount to declaring suicide. But when a community of like-minded individuals works together, the odds are significantly changed in their favor. So perhaps that's what I'm looking for in a community: shared values, a willingness to take action, and a belief that it will be good for everyone in the end.

Community and Happiness

In studies on happiness, everyone who was very happy could point to a strong social network of friends and family. And for all the shaking of fists and declarations of independence, all I really want is to be happy. The two are related.

If I am going to pursue the formation of a company or be part of a community of like-minded thinkers, what are my expectations? On my freelancer / idea forum, this is the pertinent rule I post:

• Don't be lame. Contribute constructively. Be respectful of each other.

And then there are my basic life beliefs:

• You can do anything, maybe badly, but that shouldn't stop you. You will be surprised by what you can do, and where it will take you.
• Keep yourself open to opportunity.
• Treasure the good people around you. Avoid the toxic ones.

Those would be the operating principles of any community I am a part of.

The Pursuit of Happiness is Happiness?

CBS Sunday Morning's segment ended with this observation:

Maybe Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

If that's the case, then my mission must be learning how to make maps.

Printable Tanabata Star Festival Streamers

I was reading about Tanabata, the Japanese Star Festival, for the first time a couple nights ago. Tanabata has all the ingredients for a good festival: a poignant backstory about two lovers separated by the entire Milky Way, a begrudging Sky Emperor that allows them to meet ONLY ONCE A YEAR, plenty of regional variation in the tradition, and of course awesome decorations. You also get to make a wish on Tanabata, writing them down on pieces of paper and hanging them on bamboo trees in the hopes that the two lovers will see them as they cross the Milky Way.

I've seen pictures of this festival in movies and, I suspect, console games like Harvest Moon, but didn't actually know what it was until very late in the day of Tanabata, July 7. All the stores were closed, so I quickly made some colored streamers on my printer and hung them on the basil plant on my deck.

When I showed the picture of the plant to my sister, she asked where I had gotten the streamers from. She suggested that I post the template online, so I've cleaned it up a bit and am making it available for download. And since Tanabata is celebrated on July 7, August 7 or July 31st, depending on what region you're in, you still have two more chances to make a wish this year. It's not too late!

Using the Tanabata Streamer Template

First, I should disclaim this by saying this template is not an authentic decoration from Japan. On the other hand, it is something cool to do for yourself; I don't think it's as huge a cultural faux pas as washing your face with the oshibori in polite company, or drowning your nigiri in soy sauce at the sushi bar, but STILL...consider yourself warned! :-)

STEP 1: Download the Template. You will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open the document, which you can get from the Adobe Acrobat Reader website.

STEP 2: Print, then cut paper into long strips. You'll have to trim off the ends, of course. I just make them wide enough to feel right.

STEP 3: Punch Holes. This is so you can thread some string or something through them.

STEP 4: Write a Wish on the back of the strip. I made a rhyming wish as an example; apparently people also write haiku and other poems. That might make the wish more potent? Something to consider, especially if you are planning on making OUTRAGEOUS wishes. Since I had a lot of strips, I wrote down wishes for other friends and family who said they could use a boost.

STEP 5: Hang the strips on a bamboo tree. It was already 10PM so I didn't have time to go get an actual piece of bamboo. I considered using some of the leftover chopsticks from pork lunchbox night, but they are actually some kind of soft wood instead. So I hung the streamers on the basil plant on my deck. At least it smells nice and is edible.

Wishing Well

What I like about this custom is that it projects your wish into the world. Our wishes color our perception, and sometimes that's enough to open doors; my own wish was crafted with this in mind. So far, nothing has come to pass, but I remain hopeful---and that is exactly how I wished to feel this weekend :-)

Enjoy!

» Download my Tanabata Streamer Template
» More information about Tanabata
» More printable stuff (though not quite as craftsy)

An Introduction

My buddy Senia recently graduated from the Masters of Positive Psychology program at UPenn, earning yet another of a string of degrees from schools like Harvard and Stanford. What impresses me most, though, are her insights about the world and how we as individuals relate to it and to ourselves. And instead of looking for meaning in complexity like I tend to do, she just points in a direction and says, "see that?" and follows up with an awesome question, citation, or quote. She's also very present in the world, and I think this gives her the ability to see things that I ordinarily don't; a lot of my more interesting ideas have sprouted from one of her observations or questions. I'm very pleased to see that she's started her own blog at senia.com, writing about business, happiness and intuition. It's about time, dude! Welcome to the blogosphere! :-)

Friday is Question Day at senia.com, and today's question is What’s the best thing in the world? Making this introduction is certainly one of them, from where I'm standing!

The Worthlessness of Ideas

Commenter Ben Yoskovitz challenges the idea that ideas are worthless, a view I have stated one-sidedly in a recent post: Obsessing Over Lost Ideas. It's completely understandable that Ben would take affront to this, and he unleashes a laundry list of reasons why ideas are great.

Here's some of his points (check out his post for more detail):

• Ideas create communication.
• Ideas Have No Risk? Says Who?
• Ideas help us be more creative.
• Ideas lead to change.
• Ideas foster communication.
• Ideas are the birthplace of businesses.
• Ideas beget more ideas.
• Ideas foster enthusiasm.

Yes, yes, and yes! Don't get me wrong...I love ideas. My perspective, however, is that ideas by themselves have little worth from a "results" perspective. An idea that stays in my head just takes up space, so either I tell someone about it (useful!) or I do something with it (world changing!)

Ideas that Make Me Itch

The scenario that irks me is when someone believes that being "the original idea-haver" is an entitlement, and that anyone who actually goes and does something with it is ripping them off. When I used to be a teaching assistant for graphic design students, I would occassionally have to resolve complains that "Student B is ripping off my idea!" It usually came down to something like this:

"Dave, did you see Student B's work?"

"Yes, Student A. What about it?"

"She's totally ripping off my design!"

"Really? Tell me more."

"See how I'm using circular elements here on my layout? She's..." and here the student would lower his voice, humbled by the ethical sins he was about to expose, "...she's also using circles! Like me! You have to stop this! It's not fair!"

The thought that would go through my mind was, "What, did you invent the circle? Are you the first person to put it in a design? Sheesh!" I would usually tell them something that the circle is a pretty basic element, and it was how you really used it that would make a difference...look, there's so many other ways you can combine size, tone, image, etc to make a completely different look that blows away "The Circle Stealer", who would happily go on with her business learning instead of, you know, looking over her shoulder.

Then there's the scenario where someone believes in idea-work equivalency; that is, having the idea in the first place entitles one to claim credit for all the work that was done to make it happen. Their argument is, "Hey, you wouldn't have been able to do anything without my idea, so really everything you've done based on it belongs to me." While this perhaps is true (and this is when I wish I'd studied Rhetoric in college), it's also incredibly disrespectful to the people who got off their asses and did the work. I have a particularly strong allergic reaction to people like this.

Ideas as Catalysts

I don't think what I'm saying is an argument against what Ben is saying. I actually agree with all his points; our difference may be where we put the emphasis. I would say that there's three ways I measure the "worth" of an idea:

• As a catalyst for action.
• As a catalyst for communication.
• As a catalyst for community.

My position is that though ideas are catalysts, the meaningful expression of worth is a result of the complete reaction. A catalyst without something to catalyze is just inert, sitting and doing nothing.

On the other hand, a catalyst is a substance that enables incredible things to happen. While a catalyst is inert by itself, so is that pile of resources. A true catalyst enables you to transmute that pile of resources from junk into gold. And truly, that is worth some serious bucks.

So if ideas can be catalysts in the way I describe, aren't they then by definition worth something? Well, no...most ideas are not catalysts. They are wishful thinking.

Imagination versus Catalysts

A non-technical Mac user once told me his idea to solve the Great Macintosh Speed Problem of 1986 (a drought which continued until 2006, I might add). His solution was brilliant in its simplicity: "Put more than one processor in the Mac! They're not that expensive! Problem solved!"

I started to tell him, as the ever-eager computer engineering student, that it wasn't that simple, but he would hear nothing of it. He had solved the problem in his mind. That's wishful thinking...a pleasant fantasy, but not one that was easily acted upon. That is not to say that dreams don't have a place; as Ben points out, these dreams (ideas) inspire us. So of course we do have multi-processing Macs now, finally...the idea never died; it just took a lot of hard work and a completely different operating system to get it right.

I'm going to postulate that a true catalyzing idea has to meet the following criteria:

• It describes a specific reaction between resources yields some desirable result that can be applied in an existing process (physical or social).
• It short-circuits our notion of how such reactions have occured in the past, creating an order-of-magnitude lead over existing methods.
• Our perception of the reaction is irreversibly altered, redefining conventional wisdom in the process.
• And the most important criterion of all: We think it's AWESOME. That's the gut-check, where our intuition comes into play.

If you have such an idea, I think you've probably got something. And that is worth crowing about to someone. You have just crafted a piece of practical magic.

If your idea falls short on any of these specifics, that's OK. Use it as your defining vision, and inspire yourself. Rest assured that plugging away at your idea will yield results, maybe not the ones you were expecting, but it may lead up to that life-changing critical insight that does pay off big. As a dance instructor once told me, the hardest part about taking dance lessons is just showing up.

If you have an idea that you think is worth something...show us. To paraphrase one of my favorite movies, "it's a moral imperative".

The Divisiveness of Ideas

One thing Ben said struck close to home: telling people about your ideas can be really scary. I think I've slowly lost my fear of that, but that is because am relatively independent and I tend to judge ideas on their own merit (I'm an INTJ/INFP, if that means anything to anyone). Unfortunately, a lot of the time people judge us by our ideas, and that can have serious repercussions in the workplace and even the home.

I'm using the term "ideas" pretty loosely here, so I will make a distinction between what we say we believe/think, what we imagine, what we plan, and what we perceive:

• What we say we believe/think -- Religion, Mac versus PC, Red States versus Blue States...you know. This isn't what I'm really talking about when I say "ideas" in this post.

• What we imagine -- This is a little closer. This is about values, dreams, and desire. It's also very private, and in a politically-charged environment these bits of information can be used against us, twisted to create a damning statement from our own words.

• What we plan -- This is more nuts and bolts; "how we will do things to achieve a certain goal". We can be judged on this too, by our bosses and coworkers, who all have their own idea of how something works. If our plan doesn't hold water, it splashes all over our chance for promotion. Bummer.

• What we perceive -- I'm a big believer in looking at things from multiple angles, because ideas often work only in a specific context; you have to be able to see the context before you can have the idea. Then the problem is explaining it to someone with a different perspective. You see this happen a lot between upper executives and floor workers: executives see a very distorted picture of how things work if they don't get out of their corner offices. Even worse, everything they say and do is magnified thousands of times beyond what it may really mean. This is a good example of 1% of what is visible is perceived as 100% of the reality, which doesn't do anyone any good in the long run. When your crazy-sounding idea comprises the bulk of that 1% to your boss, you're going to be careful about what you say.

I don't have any solutions to this, other than deciding to be a freelancer and work on my own ideas on the side. I'm incredibly grateful that this Internet thing exists for me to ramble into, but even I am nervous about what I put up here from time-to-time:

• That post I wrote about getting a manicure, for example, was predicated on the idea that "seeking any kind of experience and writing about it is good"...a strong position to take! On the other hand, I was also worried that people might think I was some kind of nancy-boy, and I'd never have another date for the rest of my life. I decided that people who thought that were probably people I wouldn't be interested in hanging out anyway, and just let it ride.

• Then there was the one about thinking negative, which I wrote when I was feeling kind of depressed. I spun out a somewhat derivative-but-authentic tale about seeing ghosts in my house, and by the end of it I actually felt much better. And. I. Posted. It. That night I couldn't sleep because I imagined losing my entire readership because This Is Not What I Signed Up For. The next day, I got some calls from my friends that were like, "Um, OK. You OK?" and Gueeessss whooooo thiiisssss issssSSSSssSS? WooOOooOOooo! But I also got some comments from people who appreciated the story, and shared some of their own experiences with me. From then on I decided that I would just post what came to me, and live with it. I don't want to live in fear of my own ideas.

So that's where I'm coming from. I'm very pro idea, but I nevertheless value them more when they're put into action or shared.

Now that I think about it, this is probably one of the main motivations for my private Freelancer/Idea Forum: it's private and optionally anonymous because I wanted to create a sanctuary where people could feel free to express their ideas. I value every idea that people post about, and I believe that everyone who's active feels the same way. Although anyone can sign up, there IS a price of admission: you must share a little bit of yourself before you're allowed to join the community; that takes some guts and motivation, and knowing that everyone in the forum has gone through that rite of passage automatically makes them one of your peers.

And with that, let a thousand ideas bloom.

Purpose

I am constantly wondering what the heck it is I'm doing. I try new variations on my "career path", doing my best to evaluate what seems to work and what doesn't. As a net result, I haven't experienced "success"; if anything, my career history resembles a 20-year long game of Jenga, with plenty of wipeouts and a nice big pile of blocks to play in.

Wakey wakey!

There's a remarkably open post on Jory Des Jardin's blog about her late father. Her dad was incredibly smart, entrepreneurial and confident...right up to the day he just stopped caring. This passage, in particular, I found personally chilling:

"You just can't imagine how frustrating it is," he said, looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to make sense of the ceiling tiles. "I keep looking, but there's just no answer!"

It's never actually occured to me that there may be no answer. I may have just seen a glimpse of my future, lying in a bed and delivering the same exasperated, angry, desperate conclusion: I just can't find the answer. The difference is that my room is empty, and I'm talking to myself.

I feel like I've been on a mission to discover something all my life. It's hard to explain, and I don't really expect people to understand anymore. I've tried different labels: finding meaning, having purpose, and finding my niche. I've explored the angles, trying to get some edge on the puzzle of living. I cackle with glee when I discover some new way of deconstructing my world view into more manageable chunks. It's fun! It's exciting!

It's a distraction!

Jory quotes Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi from his book Flow (yet another book I need to read). He "describes this precipice of questioning, when we seek justification for bothering to try, but lack a means of gauging our success" (I'm splitting the quote into two paragraphs, emphasis mine):

Purpose gives direction to one's efforts, but it does not necessarily make life easier. Goals can lead into all sorts of trouble, at which point one gets tempted to give them up and find some less demanding script by which to order one's actions.

The price one pays for changing goals whenever opposition threatens is that while one may achieve a more pleasant and comfortable life, it is likely that it will end up empty and void of meaning.

It's an insightful quote, though not very comforting. There are times when it feels like I'm overlooking that precipice, fully cognizant of its ability to diminish any sense of accomplishment in my world. What is it all for? What is the point? Intuitively I know that Jory's Dad was on to one of the dark secrets of the universe.

Sidestepping the Issue

One of my favorite movies is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan...not because it's Staaaaar Trek, but because of its bittersweet themes of friendship, conviction, and out-of-the-box thinking. It is the source of the Kobayashi Maru Scenario, a test that measures the ability of Star Fleet Academy cadets to handle stress under impossible situations. If you haven't seen the movie and don't plan to (though you probably should), here's a link to the wikipedia entry on The Kobayashi Maru Scenario.

Anyway, my line of questioning has that same feeling of doom that I imagine one would get from the Kobayashi Maru test. Let me break it down:

[1] What I do is irrelevant. There is no meaningful end-game. Life is meaningless.

Although I accept this statement from a certain philosophical/agnostic perspective, I also reject it because it doesn't really do me any good. However, the statement does reflect a certain feeling of despair that is nevertheless real.

[2] What I do is irrelevant. I can therefore make up my own end-game. Life is choice.

This is a very empowering perspective, and it's generally the one I maintain. However, I am also aware that I'm masking a desire for meaning. Making up your own end-game can also be very isolating; such is the nature of command, even when applied only to yourself. That leads me to the following conclusion:

[3] Life without Meaning is the No-Win Scenario.

Eep! My immediate reaction to this statement is that it's gotta be wrong, but on the other hand it may be that I just want there to be meaning. It's entirely possible that there isn't any, and I am deluding myself. There are no Answers with a Capital A. Even if I make them up myself, the authority vested in those answers come from "just me"...and that is an exhausting proposition. It is not sustainable in the long run.

I am toeing the line of Religion now, but I am not going to cross over. I may believe that there is a higher being, but I am not going to let some organization convince me that they hold to the keys to my salvation, so I have to move in a different direction.

Changing the Rules

Later in Wrath of Khan, it's revealed that the Kobayashi Maru test has beaten every single cadet in its history, with the exception of one very smug James Tiberius Kirk. As a cadet, Kirk "expanded the scope of the problem", which allowed him to get leverage on a solution that otherwise would not have presented itself.

In the context of finding meaning, my expansion of scope is to look at the pieces I've got:

• Me, feeling alarmed at not having Meaning and Purpose
• Meaning and Purpose, which I suspect are arbitrary and don't exist

The solution should will address the feeling of alarm.

1. A first-order analysis suggests that if you don't have meaning and purpose, finding them is the solution. That is, keep looking. However, I am pretty sure they don't exist in the absolute sense I am craving. And this, my friends, is the no-win scenario. Let's move on.

2. To apply the expansion of scope, I need to look at what's not in the mix. On first glance, the system seems to be complete: there's me, and there's my personal desire...what more is there? It strikes me that the word personal reveals a bias in my thinking that is probably common...the search for personal meaning implies a circle of one. Just me, looking for some way to fulfill those desires that can't be sourced internally.

3. I've already expanded scope once by trying to find different interepretations of meaning/purpose. I hadn't until now considered the second: expansion of personal scope beyond myself. That is what struck me about Jory's conversation with her Dad...he seemed so frustrated that he, incredibly smart as he was, could not find the Answer. Yet one aspect of the solution was right there in the room, listening to him vent.

The End of Solitude

I have been working in isolation for quite some time, and while I sort of enjoy the solitude, I also find that I'm going down that road of wondering what they heck it is all for. The bright spots in my days are when I'm having an active conversation with a client. At night, I feel energized by exchanging emails with my no-longer-local friends. I love making new connections with people through this blog, and figuring out how our various dreams and goals intermesh. Again, it comes down to people, not technology.

Even though I identified this some time ago, I still find it surprising. Looking back at technology through the lens of remembered childhood isolation, I can see now that technology was one of the primary sources of personal empowerment, and that it was this served as the conduit to making my best friends. I mistook the empowerment for purpose: the truly meaningful product of the system was friendship and cameraderie.

People are not just part of the system, as I thought in Passion Turn Me Round and Round: they are the point.

Being Less Cliche

I recognize that "It's the people, man!" is a very old chestnut to be tossing on the fire, but hey, it's new to me. Let me clarify some of the salient aspects:

Finding a purpose in life is a rational exercise. Finding the right people in your life is an emotional journey. I need both.

As someone who tests very evenly on the thinking/feeling axis of personality, it is absolutely critical for me to balance both sides. To now, I have not done this on purpose. That must change.

Reaching one's goals requires focus and freedom from distraction. Finding the right people requires similar mindfulness and selectfulness.

If I were to start a company and start hiring people, I know what I would be looking for in terms of temperament and personality. Would I be just as confident in the personal realm? Perhaps not, judging from my currently long-standing single status as a hermit freelancing in New Hampshire. I have known this for years, but thought that it was non-essential to achieving some modicum of success. This is classic male thinking: "I'll achieve first, then I'll find someone to relate to". I thought I had somehow evaded this by talking to various women friends, but apparently this isn't the case. Doh!

Life is fluid, and so goals must be flexible. Similarly, to find the right people, one must also be fluid and open to opportunity.

I don't know exactly what I mean by that, but the gist is that I shouldn't pre-select based on my preconceptions of what people I want to associate with.

Time to Get Balanced

For the past few months I've been largely focused on productivity in terms of how to track time, choose goals, and recognize progress. It's interesting to note that for The Printable CEO™, all of the new forms have dealt with those tangible aspects. However, the original form emphasizes two activities: concrete accomplishment AND creating connections with people. I have not released any forms to help with the latter, because I have not been mindful about pursuing this kind of relationship making. Instead, I've let relationships happen to me, passively.

One of the keys to productivity, I'm thinking, is also the key to happiness. It's the sense of MOTIVATION:

• One can be happy and productive when the motivation comes from the outside, but this is like running your business at a loss; it is not likely to last long.

• It's better when you can exchange your internally-motivated "product" for external motivation. If there is something I can do easily that I exchange for something that gives me motivation to keep doing it, then that is far more sustainable...assuming that a market exists for what you can make. These are great partnerships, and learning how to recognize them is the tough part. My feeling is that it takes uncommon candor and determination, but it's the kind of happiness worth working for.

• The "best" would be to be 100% internally motivated, both in productivity and in the seeking of happiness. I didn't think this was achievable for myself until a couple days ago, when I had a huge insight about what really was at my core, and that this framed the world in a way that I hadn't considered. However...that insight is just for me.

The Answer Key

Q. Is there an Answer, some kind of Ultimate Purpose for myself that I can believe asbolutely to be true?

A. Nope.

Q. What should I do then if nothing matters?

A. Things don't matter, but people do. Find the people who matter, then constantly show them why. That is purpose enough for you, Dave.

Catching Happiness By The Tail

I've been reviewing some old writing, and came across this odd snippet I'd posted back in February:

I was at the petstore today buying cat litter, and saw the HAPPIEST DOG EVER. Everytime he (she?) looked at someone, huge waves of happiness would shoot out and he would wag his tail so furiously that his entirely rear end shook and his paws would skid! I was very impressed, and thought that it wouldn't be such a bad thing to be more like that dog.

When I got home, my cats were very happy to see me, and spent some time dancing in front of me, tails very high in the air. You can tell how confident and happy a cat is entirely by the posture of the tail. I think I read that cats don't have facial muscles they can move (I think dogs do) so it's all about the tail.

Tails are very important to animals. Humans don't have tails, so I guess we just have to smile so much that our bodies shake with glee. I don't think I've ever smiled quite like that, but it's something to shoot for this year!

I posted this in The Happiness Group, a Google discussion forum I have been reading since early 2005. What strikes me about my post is the tone: it's direct and unapologetic, and my "inner child" shows through. Where's the self-conscious, introspective navel gazing that ordinarily fuels my writing? In retrospect, it was rather daring of me to even post it, which is probably why I did---I don't remember if that was the actual reason, unfortunately.

It occurs to me that the business of being happy takes some courage. Or at the very least, a healthy lack of embarrassment when pursuing it.

Happiness Takes Courage

Happiness is a funny topic. My impression is that people tend to avoid discussing such things out in the open; it's a rather revealing subject to discuss outside of one's circle of very close friends. It seems counter-intuitive that people wouldn't want to discuss things makes them happy, but I can readily identify with the feeling; there are a few reasons that come to mind:

• The very word happy conjures images of simple joy, which in our very complicated society is sometimes equated with simple-mindedness. Who's going to take you seriously if you're happy all the time? The rest of us have Big Problems To Grapple With! To say you want to be "happy" smacks of being escapist, possibly delusional, and obviously not a good candidate for any position that requires scary decision making or a spine...

• Happiness is associated with the carefree days of childhood, back when we didn't have any worries. Childhood (and by association, being happy) is like Narnia: we are allowed exactly one visit, and after we leave the nest we can't go back. At best, we can pay it forward to our own children...

• When you work in a politically-charged environment, revealing what really makes you happy also makes you vulnerable. You know...information is power, knowledge is leverage, etc. And since makes us truly happy can be very personal, that's a lot of leverage in the hands of an asshole. On top of that, your statements of happiness are open to misinterpretation and ridicule by the watercooler gang; who wants to go through that?

• And do I even know what makes me happy? The Mass Media has totally filled my head with plausible fictions: get a significant other, land a good job, get married, buy that house and have a brace of kids, etc. At least everyone else is moving in the same general direction, so there's safety in numbers right? Unfortunately for me, I've never been good about following other people's numbers. And for some of us, we're so busy worrying about other people's problems, we don't have the time to spend with ourselves and puzzle it out...

As much as I'd like to think myself as competitive enough to deal with the world's complexities...I really just want to be happy. That doesn't mean I have to give myself a lobotomy: it just means that I have to be active and smart about pursuing it. And brave enough to do this in the face of people who don't get it and/or are suspicious of happiness. The list of reasons I gave? They just hold us back through fear and doubt.

So the first order of business in 2005 was to jettison those reasons as complete bunk, starting out again from scratch. When I was introduced to the The Happiness Discussion Group (H-Group), what I found especially cool was its emphasis on the positive...without being insipid. Some people, of course, might be suspicious of the upbeat and at-times silly nature of the discussion, and to them I would say this: a lot of the time, we tend to see the world in terms of obstacles and problems; it follows that our attention is focused on diagnosing broken things. While that's important, dwelling on what's wrong all the time creates a negative bias in our perception, and that drains us of energy that has to be compensated for in other ways. Thus, it's even more important to find positive sources of energy in our life; that's part of what The H-Group is about.

Sharing Resources, Because Sharing is Smart

Another advantage of H-Group is that it's frequented by smart people who are researching these very topics at places like Harvard and the University of Pennsylvania. Positive psychology as a legitimate area of research, if you haven't noticed, is on the rise. If you're sick of all the negative fear, uncertainty, and doubt that gets shown on the evening news, then think of positive psychology as the equivalent reaction to the doom-and-gloomers who are more interested in cataloging the way in which life sucks, with the implication that by being part of life you must suck also! I have no patience for that kind of attitude. Begone!

While having a bunch of academics posting in an online forum sounds like a recipe for boredom, H-Group actually very personable and accessible, written in plain language. Occasionally a general article on research psychology trends gets linked, but it's just to kick off an interesting discussion. My favorite aspect of the forum is it's also a little bit silly, so I get to indulge my inner child when the questions are about snow and favorite weather come up. I think it keeps my soul from getting too old to appreciate the cool parts of being alive. And knowing how you feel about the weather actually is surprisingly interesting...what does it say about you? Here's a quick review of some of the past threads:

Strategies for Happiness, ranging from the silly to the sciency.

• How You Being Selfish Can Make Others Happy
• Brain Happiness: Small Successes
• Does Smiling Affect your Mood?
• What's the single most thing you can do for your health?
• Brain Plasticity

Beliefs -- knowing what you believe is really helpful in the pursuit of Happiness.

• Top 10 Things That Make Me Happy
• What's Your Motto?
• What are your three core beliefs?

Introspection -- sometimes, you got to dig a little deeper for the answers.

• What's the best question you've ever been asked?
• How do you know you're a good person?
• Courage. Discipline. Perseverance.

Experiential -- sometimes, the experience itself is the answer.

• What is your favorite weather?
• What's your favorite snow experience?
• What is your favorite tea?

With each interaction, I'm a little clearer on what's really important to me. If "the journey is the reward", then chasing happiness might be the sporting aspect of a good life. Come play! :-)

UPDATE: The group moderator also posted a list of favorites...it's longer and more varied than mine!